Fake no-parking markings fester across Seattle

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fake no-parking markingsSeattle’s industrial Interbay neighborhood near where I live has an exercise facility that is set back from W. Bertona Street with a string of signs along its facade in front of which cars can park head-in. “DENALI FITNESS PARKING ONLY,” proclaim the signs, one of which is in the accompanying picture facing a parked car.

There’s a small problem with this. According to government tax maps online, the parking area is public property on a public right-of-way. The signs certainly aren’t issued by the City of Seattle. That means anyone can park there, for days at a time if desired, pumping absolutely no iron. The restricted parking demand is just hot air.

I called the club. The person answering the phone said he was unaware of the signs–sort of hard to believe–and no supervisors were around to answer my questions.

But this fits into a pattern I have seen since becoming New To Seattle. Some folks have taken the law into their own hands by posting their own no-parking signs or painting curbs in various car-go-away colors: yellow, white or occasionally red. Continue reading

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Don’t call Seattle cops unless there’s blood

Don't call Seattle cops unless there's bloodHere in Seattle, a city with an uninspiring police department, one of its most uninspiring aspects is currently playing itself out in the pages of The Seattle Times. It turns out that police dispatchers tell callers reporting property thefts the cops aren’t going to do anything and that the best option is to file a claim with their insurance company. This is true even if the crime just took place and the caller is following the perps and providing their location in real time!

Apparently, this dereliction of duty–I’d call it the don’t-call-Seattle-cops-unless-there’s-blood policy–has been going on for awhile. It burst into full view only when one of the paper’s columnists, Danny Westneat, found his car broken into after a youth soccer match, used an app to track a stolen cell phone and managed to eyeball the getaway car with the thieves still inside and his stolen goods in their hands. He called the cops, but they did little.

Westneat’s column of outrage detailing the events, which the police don’t really deny, continues to reverberate mightily. It’s been the talk of Seattle. Radio talk show hosts have been hammering away. The new police chief, Kathleen O’Toole, who just arrived from Boston and seems to get hit regularly with so many unpleasant surprises that those harsh New England winters suddenly might seem far more inviting, vowed an investigation. Continue reading

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Set far from Seattle, ‘OFFSIDE: A Mystery,’ my debut novel, is about soccer parents, rich California and a dead referee

OFFSIDE: A MysteryMy debut novel was just published, and I hope it doesn’t prove to be too autobiographical.

The title is OFFSIDE: A Mystery. The one-sentence summary: The murder of an adult referee of youth soccer in a ritzy Los Angeles suburb at the height of the real estate bubble in 2006 is blamed on a loud-mouth coach upset about a call.

The reason for my concern? I have been an adult referee of youth soccer now for 17 years, in New Mexico, the Los Angeles area and–since becoming New To Seattle in 2011–around Puget Sound.

On occasion, coaches and parents–but rarely players–yell at me. I’m hardly infallible, but–unlike, say, the Pope–I do have a whistle.

Fortunately, no one has taken such discontent concerning me to that kind of level, in Seattle or anywhere else. I should point out, however, that during my six years of refereeing in New Mexico, the state legislature deemed it necessary to make it a third-degree felony to slug a referee.

This post is a shameless plug for my book, published by Booktrope, of Seattle, and which you can buy on Amazon.com/Kindle by clicking here. (It’s also available on Barnes & Noble/Nook and iBooks.) And since this is a shameless plug for my book, I can write about some of its themes with no fear of an undisclosed bias or conflict-of-interest. Continue reading

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Seattle has Mickey Mouse elections–really

Mickey Mouse elections

Actually mentioned in official Seattle election materials

Here in Seattle, King County Elections just sent a formal mailing to all voters containing this written plea: “Please, don’t write ‘none of the above’ or a frivolous name such as Mickey Mouse or Bigfoot on the write-in line.” Too much time and trouble to count sure losers, it was claimed.

Yet on the November 4 ballot a disbarred lawyer is a listed candidate for the state Supreme Court. Voters also will pass judgment on an initiative that looks like a gun-control measure but is exactly the opposite. And sort out the issues in the confusingly numbered Proposition No. 1–and Proposition No. 1A–and Proposition No. 1B–and Citizen Petition No. 1.

With this kind of craziness in the mail-ballot-only election, I’d tell you a vote for the Mouse is at least a valid act of political protest. And maybe a lot less subject to future regret for those of us New To Seattle, too. Continue reading

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Seattle ducks racial blame again by nixing Columbus Day

Columbus Day

Christopher Columbus statue by Douglas Bennet, Seattle waterfront

It could be viewed as an act of political correctness. The City Council in liberal Seattle voted unanimously this week that the second Monday in October henceforth will be called Indigenous Peoples’ Day, and not Columbus Day, as it’s known in many other places across the country and the entire Federal Government.

Now, there’s nothing new about the campaign to dishonor Christopher Columbus, the Italian working for Spain on a salary-plus-profit-sharing plan who starting in 1492 sailed the ocean blue four times from Europe (and never once actually landed in North America proper). Native Americans–called Indians because Columbus thought he was near India–blame him for triggering the immigration of Europeans carrying deadly illnesses and deadly intentions from the Old World to the New World. Also, Columbus also kidnapped a number of Indians, not all of whom survived the return journey across the Atlantic. This all led to the ultimate relegation of Indians in the social and economic order of things.

Here in Seattle, authorities worried about vandalism long have found it necessary around Columbus Day to crate the remarkably unappealing 1978 statute of Columbus by sculptor Douglas Bennet along the Seattle waterfront near the Seattle Aquarium. (Putting statues of famous explorers along waterways they never saw is something of a grand Seattle tradition; there is also a 17-foot-high statue facing Puget Sound of Leif Erikson, the Viking explorer who may have beaten Columbus across the Atlantic by 500 years but also came nowhere near the Pacific Northwest.)

However, in implicitly blaming Columbus for the downfall of local Indians, I find Seattle politicians somewhat disingenuous. Sure, the city was named for the local Indian chief. But Seattle and his tribes were quickly hustled out of town by gringos arriving from Illinois in the mid-19th century, their lands taken for little compensation and treaty obligations not fulfilled. The new, growing city on the eastern edge of Puget Sound later even made it illegal for Indians to live in the place named for their chief. Continue reading

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Another iffy police outfit calls around Seattle

iffy police outfitThe caller to the New To Seattle world headquarters was Nathan. At least that’s the name he gave. He solicited money for the Washington State Law Enforcement Association, which he said did all kinds of good things for public safety and the citizens of Washington State. He pushed hard to get me to commit to a $15 pledge. I pushed back by asking questions.

As some of Nathan’s answers were slightly off kilter, highly repetitive or delayed, I quickly realized he was another of those computer-controlled interactive characters who occasionally call asking for money. I think Nathan, or his human supervisor secretly monitoring the call, got on to me, too. He/they soon stopped asking for money and hung up.

Regular visitors to the space know what happened next. I started poking around the Internet, looking for documents to see what I could learn about WSLEA.

I learned a lot. The biggest takeaway was this: By its very own admission, less than 4% of what WSLEA spent in the latest year for which I could find filings related directly to its stated mission of helping law enforcement. The main reason for this: A whopping 83% of the money raised by Nathan and any fellow digital dialers got siphoned off by their paid telemarketing overlords, based in far-away Minnesota.

To put this another way (and rounding), of every dollar given by folks like you, 83 cents went straight to a professional fundraiser, 8 cents went for WSLEA’s management and certain overhead, and 5 cents was put in the bank. That left just 4 cents of your dollar to help fight the criminal element of Washington State. Continue reading

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New Seattle pot store misspells cannabis

Pot store misspells cannabisClick on headline above to see comments below

Readers know that since becoming New To Seattle I have railed on here (and here and here) about poor local signage. But it’s hard to top what I read in today’s Seattle Times about the opening of the city’s third pot store since the legalization of recreational marijuana:

Oltion Hyseni had been working nonstop since July on his version of the American dream — opening a marijuana store in Seattle. He opened Ocean Greens at 4:20 p.m. Thursday, but there was a hitch.

“Our sign guy was stoned this morning,” said Hyseni, 37, with a smile. “He misspelled cannabis.”

“That’s pretty embarrassing,” said store manager David Preuet. “We should have noticed that.”

Hyseni made a quick call to the sign company, which sent an employee out to unpeel an “I” and replace it with an “A.”

….

Some things require no further comment from me. This is one of them.

Follow William P. Barrett’s work on Twitter by clicking here.

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Richest people in Seattle get a lot richer

richest people in SeattleThe world’s biggest tunnel machine remains stuck under Seattle, and there are problems building a replacement to the world’s longest floating bridge leaving town to the east. But unlike these big-money public projects around Seattle, though, big-money humans are doing just fine, thank you.

The new Forbes 400 list of the richest Americans was released this morning. In a year the collective net worth of the nine from the Seattle area went up a hefty $18.75 billion to, by my quick New To Seattle reckoning, $161.15 billion. That’s a 13.2% increase, which by any measure beats T-bills. Not a single entrant declined in net worth.

As you might guess, nearly half the gain, $9 billion, accrued to Bill Gates, again No. 1 in the country (for the 21st consecutive year) with a stash valued at $81 billion. He apparently just can’t give it away fast enough to his Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Next richest locally is Jeff Bezos, who, despite financial losses at his Amazon.com, saw his net worth rise $3.3 billion to $30.5 billion, putting him No. 15 in the nation. He recently paid $250 million to purchase The Washington Post.

The U.S. is so lousy with billionaires, Forbes says, that 113 didn’t even make the list of the 400 heaviest. But here’s a quick run-down on the others from the Puget Sound area who did: Continue reading

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Around Seattle, affiliate of Miss America gilds lily, too

Miss America gilds lily

Miss Washington Kailee Dunn (via Miss Washington Scholarship Organization)

As a rewrite man and editor on Philadelphia’s Evening and Sunday Bulletin in the pre-Internet 1970s, I occasionally worked in the city room on the final Saturday night of the Miss America Pageant, 60 miles away in Atlantic City. After the 10 semi-finalists were announced, I wrote 10 different opening paragraphs and headlines as though each had won. Then the pairs were set in type.

Later, I went downstairs to the paper’s dank composing room, where I stood holding an open phone line to the Miss America press box. In those days reporters next to the Atlantic City Convention Hall stage got a heads-up on the winner before the big announcement on national television. Our man on the scene gave me the word. I told the compositor which headline and lead to use, and the page form was sent off to be plated.

A few minutes later, as Bert Parks warbled, “There She Is, Miss America,” the Bulletin‘s giant line of presses already were rolling with the big news stripped across the top of the late edition’s front page.  At least in those days, it was big news.

John Oliver’s new HBO comedy show, “Last Week Tonight,” got a lot of recent attention for its takedown of the Miss America pageant. Part of that might have been surprise to many that the event even was still around. It’s just not as big a deal as it once was. But much of the notice was due to Oliver’s revelations that the show’s organizers essentially lied about the amount of scholarship for all those talented, fetching lasses.

The Miss America Organization said far and wide that $45 million of scholarship aid was in the kitty. What Oliver revealed was that the amount actually handed out was only a small fraction–maybe $4 million. The $45 million figure was simply the amount of impossible-to-all-use offers the pageant had from various sponsors and colleges. It was an immense deception, and one the organization did not rebut well in the wake of Oliver’s reporting.

Oliver’s staff had dug the damning data out of public Form 990 tax filings made by the Miss America Organization and its state affiliates. Here at the New To Seattle world headquarters, I have been known to leaf through such papers to discover locally trolling charities spending next to nothing raised on the lofty causes they espouse.

Oliver got me to wondering. Was the Washington State affiliate of the Miss America operation any better than the parent?

Not really. Continue reading

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In Seattle, Comcast track record hurts merger bid

Comcast track recordComcast Corp. is trying to win the hearts and minds of federal regulators whose approval is needed for its $45 billion takeover merger with Time Warner Cable. One of the arguments is that Internet service will get better.

Give me a break.

Under its Xfinity brand name, Comcast has close to a monopoly on wired broadband service in Seattle. I’m here to tell you the Comcast track record is slow, unreliable and overpriced.

In my Magnolia neighborhood, I have lost Internet and Internet-supplied phone service a half-dozen times or so in the past year, for periods ranging from a few minutes to hours. In other instances the speed has fallen way below what Comcast propaganda touted. Still, my monthly Comcast bill just went up 13%.

I don’t think it’s just me. Comcast’s operational snafus in Seattle are so persistent that complaining customers are told they can use their cell phones to check on problems. This is amazing considering that Comcast, a phone service provider, doesn’t offer cells. When was the last time you repeatedly heard any company routinely refer complaining customers to direct competitors?

Meanwhile, Comcast has the chutzpah to accuse merger opponents of extortion. Give me another break. Continue reading

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Will Seattle voters raise the nation’s highest big-city sales tax?

highest big-city sales taxVoters in Seattle will be asked in November whether they want to raise the sales tax to help bail out the local bus system. The exact wording on the ballot likely will not point out that Seattle already has the nation’s highest major-city sales tax.

In case you’re contemplating a visit to Seattle, be aware that the local total sales tax bite right now is 9.5%. That’s above every big city in the country (No. 2, apparently, is Chicago at 9.25%). I say big-city because there are a few tiny places out there with far higher rates. Tops, according to the Tax Foundation, is the 12.725%–one penny for every eight others–charged in Tuba City, Ariz. (population 8,600), which, spider-like, quietly waits to catch unwary tourists en route to the nearby Grand Canyon.

The ballot question here in Seattle is whether to raise the tax by 0.1 percentage point to 9.6%. There’s an interesting back story behind this proposal, and not one that reflects terribly well on Seattle-area officials. Continue reading

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Seattle makes another ‘most snobbiest cities’ list

snobbiest citiesBeing a prominent big city can be hell, I guess. Last year Travel + Leisure magazine ranked Seattle in a tie for No. 5 on its list of “America’s snobbiest cities.” I really didn’t see it then, pointing out that the dictionary definition of a snob was “one who tends to patronize, rebuff, or ignore people regarded as social inferiors and imitate, admire, or seek association with people regarded as social superiors.” That was not the city I have observed since becoming New To Seattle.

But maybe I was wrong.

The real estate web site Movoto just published a list of the “snobbiest big cities in America.” Seattle checked in even higher, at No. 3, behind only the Other Washington and hated San Francisco. Continue reading

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Seattle toll system should have received an F

Seattle toll system
Evidence of governmental ineptitude (pursuant to the Washington State Public Records Act)

Click on headline above to read comments below.

It can be stated without question that Washington State’s electronic toll system should have received an F.

The state’s expensive, supposedly state-of-the-art Good To Go! system misread that very letter on someone else’s license plate as an E. Its computers then decided that a car in my family had crossed the world’s longest floating bridge on the evening of Valentine’s Day 2014–in just one direction, mind you–and applied a $3.95 charge to an account I had set up and funded with $30.00.

I only learned about this six months later when I looked at the account online after reading scathing Seattle Times columns by Danny Westneat (here and here) about the many billing problems of Good To Go! I had not crossed the span, the Route 520 bridge across Lake Washington west toward Seattle, since it became tolled again in December 2011, a few months after becoming New To Seattle. Upon my emailed protest, a human in the Good To Go! system, part of the Washington State Department of Transportation and which covers one other toll bridge and a road, took a look at the recorded photographic image and quickly canceled the charge.

But I wanted to see for myself the stark evidence of rank governmental incompetence. I formally demanded my rights to inspection and copying under the Washington State Public Records Act. Eventually, staffers at the Good To Go! customer service office in Seattle, where I went after filing my public records request, showed me the photographic image and gave me a copy.

The image, as you can see above, was barely legible even after the agency and I tried to enhance it. So I’m not sure how much I should credit the claims of Good To Go! workers that their automatic toll system hardly ever screws up automatically.

But I know one failing grade it deserved.

Follow William P. Barrett’s work on Twitter by clicking here.

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Seattle drivers among worst of worst

Seattle drivers among worstIn my experience, Seattle drivers don’t speed, change lanes wildly or run lights while routinely offering to yield the right of way at all-way stop intersections. But they’re apparently damn lousy drivers, anyway.

Allstate Insurance just came out with its fourth annual list ranking drivers in the nation’s 200 largest cities by safety since I became New To Seattle in 2011. In the year before I arrived, Seattle ranked No. 128 out of 200, which wasn’t so great, since No. 1 is the best and No. 200 the worst. The 2011 list dropped Seattle down to No. 147. A year later, Seattle sank to No. 154. The 2013 roster lowered Seattle drivers to No. 160.

And now? Drum roll please. Seattle fell another 13 clicks to  No. 173. The Emerald City now ranks among the bottom seventh. Continue reading

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Rutgers is coming to Seattle, but not as oldest college football team

Rutgers oldest college football teamOn August 28, Washington State University will open its football season with the annual “Seattle Game,” the one home match the Cougars play each year 300 miles from their base in Pullman. (Probably for the last time, too.) The opponent in CenturyLink Field this time is Rutgers, New Jersey’s state university.

The game will be the first for Rutgers as a member of the Big Ten (which for $ome rea$on now ha$ 14 team$). You’ll probably hear a lot about the long storied history of Rutgers. Founded in 1766 with a charter signed by Ben Franklin’s illegitimate son, Rutgers is exactly twice as old as Wazzu (started in 1890), and for that matter 95 years older than Seattle’s University of Washington.

You might even hear about the participation of Rutgers in what it and many sports enthusiasts call the first college football game, against Princeton in New Brunswick, N.J., on November 6, 1869. But as the holder of two Rutgers degrees (as well as two tickets I bought for the Seattle Game), I’m here to tell you that contest was not a football game as the term is now understood in the U.S.

It was a soccer match.

That didn’t stop Rutgers from running for decades a bogus and ultimately unsuccessful campaign that college football started on the campus and that it should be the home of the College Football Home of Fame. Given the financial improprieties that plagued the hall’s official owner, the National Football Foundation, Rutgers probably ducked a bullet. The hall of fame has moved around–like, one might say, a football–and just relocated again, from South Bend, Ind., to Atlanta. In fact, the grand re-opening is scheduled for this weekend.

As a weekend referee of youth soccer for 17 years, I might fairly be accused of having a bias here. But I think it a slight against the great sport of soccer for the athletic community not to acknowledge that the famous Rutgers-Princeton encounter in 1869 had little to do with tackle football, which would not even be invented for several years thereafter.

What follows is my New To Seattle take on the back story, which–plug plug–is liberally borrowed from a novel I’ve written, entitled OFFSIDE: A Mystery–scheduled for publication this fall. Continue reading

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Good To Go system in Seattle takes its toll

Good To Go!On February 14 of this year, a camera on the Route 520 toll bridge from Bellevue across Lake Washington to Seattle took a picture at 7:24 p.m. of a license plate on a vehicle heading west. Washington State Department of Transportation computers decided the plate was registered to me. A $3.95 charge was deducted from a previously unused Good To Go! toll account I set up three years ago upon becoming New To Seattle, and funded with $30 of my hard-earned money.

There was one small problem: None of our cars has gone across the 520 bridge since tolls were put back on the span in December 2011. Not once. And certainly no early one-way trip back from romantic Bellevue on the evening of Valentine’s Day 2014. Continue reading

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IRS scammer makes threatening call to Seattle

IRS scammerA young friend of mine here in Seattle got a threatening telephone call recently from someone who said he was from the Internal Revenue Service. The caller–who spoke barely intelligible English–said my friend owed a little over $2,000 in taxes and that the agency was issuing an arrest warrant. But the debt could be settled for only $500, and the arrest warrant canceled, if my friend would just provide a credit card number over the phone.

My friend understandably was worried but, since all taxes had been paid, wisely declined to provide a number. My friend then contacted me and allowed me to act as an authorized representative. From the New To Seattle world headquarters I called back the telephone number, (202) 241-1046. Someone answered speaking English in a rather heavy accent. He eventually spelled his name for me as Fabher Modher.

Modher said my friend owed back taxes. I asked which specific office of the IRS Modher was with. He said he was with “U.S. Bank.”

Then he hung up.

That might be the last contact I have with Modher, which I rather doubt is his real name (A Google search of that name produced absolutely zero hits.) He is clearly a scammer plying what has become one of the hot new national identity theft games, one that preys on a heady brew of ignorance, fear and panic. Continue reading

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Key gap at drivers license office near Seattle

Key gap at drivers license office near Seattle Click on headline to see comments below.

Upon becoming New to Seattle in 2011, one piece of advice I received was to get my new Washington State driver’s license at the state Department of Licensing office in Shoreline, the first town north of Seattle. Shorter waits, I was told. That proved to be true. As I recounted in my very first post here reflecting on the then-ailing state of the area’s economy, I was in and out of the office with my license in a mere 35 minutes.

But that was more than three years ago. Things can change, as I found out on Saturday morning when I made a return visit to the Shoreline office to help family members moving to Seattle get their own licenses. We got to the Aurora Ave. N facility 10 minutes before the 8:30 a.m. opening, figuring it would be another quick in-and-out.

Well, it was a quick out, of sorts. But that’s because we never went in.

Here is the text of the “customer comment card” I mailed later in the day to the DOL’s Customer Relations Assistant Director in Olympia:

As doors opened, an employee came out to tell the waiting line that another employee had gone home with the key to turn on computer system, and that employee had left for vacation, meaning applications couldn’t be processed.

It appears this office has poor management in charge, which you should rectify.

I also recommend that a second set of keys be authorized.

Now I don’t know how many other taxpaying residents ended up being disadvantaged for lack of a duplicate key. Fortunately, we had enough sense to quickly scoot north on S.H. 99 another six miles through Edmonds to the next DOL office in Lynnwood. The management there had a level of competence such that no employee had gone off on a two-week vacation with the only key to the office computer system. We were in and out in 40 minutes (the economy is doing better, and people are moving here for jobs, so the wait was longer than in 2011–a good thing, actually).

To sum up, Seattle residents had to drive one-sixth of the way to the Canadian border and back to get a Washington State driver’s license because a government employee was in too much of a hurry to leave on holiday, and there was no back-up. The key take-away, in more ways than one.

Follow William P. Barrett’s work on Twitter by clicking here.

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Mosquitoes largely absent in Seattle

Mosquitoes largely absent in SeattleThe Seattle summer–early July to sometime in October–is a wondrous time. The sun is abundant, the rains that fall most of the other nine months disappear and temperatures rarely rise above the 70s or low 80s.

Here’s another plus. Despite all the water hereabouts, there are hardly any mosquitoes. One generally can sit on a backyard deck or in a park for a long time without getting bitten to death or needing burning insect-repellant citronella candles (which are legal in the U.S. but banned in Europe).

Here’s why. Continue reading

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