‘Twas The Night Before Christmas*

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through Seattle,
not a tunnel machine was stirring,
ready for battle.

The Viaduct was hung
on its pillars with care
in hopes that the Big One
soon wouldn’t dare.

The pols were nestled
all snug in their beds,
while visions of campaign gifts
danc’d in their heads.

When over the town
there arose such a clatter
folks sprang from their sleep
to see what was the matter

Away to the windows
they flew like a flash;
tore open the shutters
and threw up the sash.

When, what to wondering
eyes should appear
but miniature planes
in the atmosphere.

Without any pilots,
lively or deaf,
they knew in a moment:
The work of St. Jeff.

More rapid than seahawks,
his drones they all came;
and he whistled, and shouted
and call’d them by name.

“Now, Brasher! Now, Chancer!
“Disrupter and Herein!
“On, Upset! On, Outbid,
“On, Honor and Wherein.

“To the top of the porch!
“To the top of the wall!
“Now dash away! Dash away!
“Dash away all!”

So ov’r to the houses
the drones they all flew,
each with a package
from St. Jeff, or two.

And then in a twinkling,
each home was a zone,
The whirling and spinning
of each little drone.

All new to Seattle,
folks looked at the ground.
Across the wet landscape,
St. Jeff came with a bound.

He was dress’d all in black,
from his head to his foot,
And he set about gauging
things like throughput

He had a thin face,
topped with a dome,
That shook when he laugh’d,
like Starbucks foam

A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head
soon gave minions the hint
they had plenty to dread.

He spoke no more words,
but went straight to his work,
measuring everything,
then turned with a jerk

and laying his finger
aside of his nose,
and giving a nod,
to the challenge he rose.

He sprung to his van,
to his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew
like the down of a thistle.

But then he exclaimed,
ere he drove out of sight,
“Amazon Prime to all,
“and to all a good night.”

*With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

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